The Rules of my Life

The cabin I am staying in has the 10 commandments hanging on the wall.  I was looking at them one morning and then went out into the field to do some work.  I then started talking to the drillers about something which lead me to saying something along the lines of  "ya I always act this way".  Which is a weird statement for me to make because I don't really live by absolutes.  I kind of believe that there is an exception to every rule and what is right or wrong in one situation might be completely different in another.  I then started thinking about ways that I pretty much always act in all situations....

Anyway, I decided to compile a list of my "life rules". Not really like the 10 commandments, so I don't really know how that ties in....  Just things that I always try to keep in mind when making choices and getting through life.

1) Don't argue unless you are pretty sure you are right, and it is worth arguing about.
Personally, I am not a fan of arguing.  Once in a while I will argue over something dumb just to remind someone that I am not a push over.  Or because they are talking about something that I happen to know a lot about and they are wrong.  Or because someone manages to strike a nerve. But usually, I just don't argue unless it is important.  

2) Don't agree to things unless you know what you are agreeing to. 
If anyone comes up to me and says "ya wanna do me a favor", my response is always something along the lines of  "most likely", "probably", "maybe", or "probably not but what is it" depending on who is asking and what their history of favors is.  This might come from my fear of commitment, but I adopted this attitude after blindly agreeing to do some things that I really didn't want to. (Not like bad things, but more like, you lazy ass hole... you just didn't want to deal with your own shit and now I am in it too) Call me old fashioned, but if I tell someone I am going to do something then I am damn well going to do it.  If I don't then probably something is wrong, or I am experiencing a human moment and genuinely just forgot or something dumb like that. I try to keep that to a minimum though. Since I do what I say, I try to be pretty damned careful what I agree to.

3) If you tell someone you will do something, then do it.
I am more than willing to overlook all sorts of slightly annoying traits in my friends if they have this quality.  I mean I totally understand that sometimes you just can't, but I have known some flaky people.  Make plans and then the day of the plans, not only do they forget, but I can't even get a hold of them. That gets old... I can't tell you how much I appreciate people who consistently do what they say they will.  Or, at the very least let me know as soon as they know something has changed.  Reliability, it seems like a dying idea these days where everyone is full of excuses.....

4) Don't make excuses.
We all do it. But honestly, rarely does anyone want to hear it. If I am late or feel the need to make excuses, I try to just keep my mouth shut, or just go with "Sorry about that, I will do my best not to let it happen again." Ok, I still make a lot of excuses. It's hard not to. Sometimes you just want people to know that there actually is a reason you completely sucked at whatever.  However, I find that a lot of the time, your actions can completely make up for one bad performance... sans excuses.

5) Don't be a whiny bitch. 
Chances are, it could be much worse.  You could be starving and dying of some awful disease in the middle of nowhere. Oh, also caught in a downpour.  We all lose perspective and get tired of our lives, but really, for most of us, shit ain't that bad. Vent if you have to, then be done with it and move on.

6) Never let your fear decide your fate. 
Ok, I stole that one from an Awolnation song.  Good song by the way.  But it is the most poetic way I have had heard that concept said.  And when I say this, I don't mean stupid things like "there is a bear over there that I am scared of so I should overcome my fear and walk towards it".  Not like that.  What I mean is don't not do something because it is new or unknown or scary. A lot of fears are not rooted in any real danger.  It is just a "this bad thing might happen". Well, chances are you are more likely to die in a car crash driving to work than from doing whatever awesome thing you are scared to do. For me (and most people I would assume) doing new things is scary since it's unknown.  I spent a lot of my life in my "comfort zone". Now that I have gotten out of it, I enjoy life a hell of a lot more.

7) Don't worry what other people think.  You can't change it anyway.
When I finally was able to do this, it seriously changed my life in a really good way.  My self confidence went through the roof and I became a lot happier in general.  I used to spend a lot of time wondering why so and so didn't like me. Then I realized it didn't matter.  I haven't done anything to them and if they want to not like me, that's their problem. And ya know what happened when I started thinking this way?  I'm pretty sure that a lot fewer people disliked me for dumb reasons.

8) If you make a mistake, admit it, accept the consequences, and move on.
Chances are if you try to cover it up, its just gonna fuck shit up a lot more.  And everyone is going to know anyway.  Usually if you own up to it, you can still keep peoples' respect. And fix the problem in a timely manner.

9) Treat others with respect.
I don't care who someone is, I am going to treat them with respect. I run into a entitled superior attitude a lot with people.  I am blah blah blah so that makes me better than you. No, not really. Or, you are here to serve me. (Like at a restaurant... or supermarket... work situations) Ok, it might be someone's job to help you but you don't have to treat them like shit. Really, we are all people here trying to make our way through life the best we can.  Everyone deserves respect.  Well, at least until if and when they do something really shitty to lose it. I feel like this attitude is my small way of giving back to people.  People I meet in passing I am always polite to and always try to give a smile.  Who knows, maybe they were having a shitty day and something just being nice to them made it a little bit better.

10) Make your choices wisely. They define who you are. 
Everyone has to make choices.  Inaction is also a choice. I believe in two things that govern our lives as humans: choice and balance. Our choices should lead us towards living a more balanced life. Yes, some people are born really fucking lucky. They have a lot of good things going for them. I was pretty lucky. My life hasn't been perfect, but overall, I had a damn good start. Anyway, that affects my point of view on the matter.  But at the end of the day, EVERYONE has a choice.  Even when things outside of your control happen, you have the choice of how you react to them.  I don't mean what you do necessarily, but how you think.  NO ONE can control that but you.  You can always choose how you react to a situation, how you let it change you, if you view yourself as a helpless victim, etc.. You can choose to think positively or negatively about a situation. I know this from experience. It works.  Even when shit sucks, you have the choice to be positive. And it is amazing what making that choice can do.  It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

Everyone has things happen to them in their lives.  And everyone has to choose how they react to them. End of story. 

11) It's about value and balance.
My uncle said this a fair bit when I was a child.  Usually in what I thought a joking matter.  However, we did get into a pretty intense conversation about the power of this statement.  At this point in my life, this IS the governing idea in my life. Finding balance. Usually, there are two choices, paths, whatever.  Most of the time, neither one is entirely right. It's more about finding the right balance between to. I mean if you look at the qualities people have, no one person can exhibit all "good" qualities at one time. 

Let me explain via example.  I value both strength and compassion in a person.  Most people would argue that to be strong, you don't show compassion and to show compassion is a weakness. Well, I would argue that a good person has both qualities.  It isn't about one or the other, it is about knowing when to be strong when to be compassionate.  Finding that balance between the two. There are countless examples of the this concept. 

I believe that balance is the key to everything.  Life is about finding that right spot between two extremes.  It sure isnt easy to do and takes a lot of trial and error. But hey, where is the fun in easy things?



Anyway, those are my thoughts. And the super abbreviated explanation of what I think. If you didn't know me, or know me well, or thought you knew be but really don't, now you do.  :)